Restless FaithDid you notice my absence yesterday? Well, I have actually been absent since Saturday. Everytime I slide away from God, I start to feel all of my old feelings coming back. I know what I am to do to get back, yet I still slide. I think that we all face challenges, and our reactions to those affects us very deeply. Being a black and white person, I can now see the ramifications of my actions and thoughts much more quickly. I slid. I wanted to fill a void in my life this past weekend, and I looked to worldly pleasures to do it. A song that I LOVE says...I went and made the world my friend and it left me high and dry. Daddy here I am.
So...today, I woke up, and my mind was racing...as usual...to so many different things. I was obsessing about a boy, I was obsessing about work..and pretty much everything else. I forced myself out of bed and came down to do my bible study...well, I did half of it before it had given me so much to think about that I had to just marinate for awhile...that is what I am doing now...marinating.
In the 15 minutes that I was studying, this is what I learned.
"Hard times come, either derailing us from the mission or making us stronger and more committed to following through with what God asks of us."
"The greatest challenge of all might be getting used to the fact that His assignments are different than the plans we had for ourselves."
"Basically, Jacob's desires were for the things of God--he wanted spiritual blessing. God knew this, and He worked to bring out the best in Jacob, even though Jacob often ran ahead and used carnal methods to attain spiritual blessing. "
All of this being said...I had forgotten why I gave up dating for Lent. I remember now. I have a restless faith. I pray that I can learn to have "rest" in Him and find peace in His will.
"Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart" (Ps. 37:4).