Thursday, March 02, 2006

Day 1 - The Whisper

Well, I have done it. I went to church last night, and have given up dating for lent. Not just dating, or hanging out with my guy friends, but more given up my thoughts about dating. It has consumed me for so long that it was making me crazy. I have hurt some that I probably shouldn't have. I have paid attention to some that I know that I shouldn't have. So, for lent, I am giving it up. I learned a lot about the purpose of lent last night.

Jesus retreated into the wilderness for forty days to prepare for his ministry. He fasted, and it was a time of contemplation, reflection, and preparation. It is a solem time for me. During the sermon last night, I really listened. I wanted to make sure that by giving up dating, that I was hearing His voice. They said many things that reassured my decision. The purpose, in my own words, is to die to sin. Everytime the thought of something that we normally think about or do enters our mind, we are to surrender it. To die to it. We are to redirect our thought time that we would normally devote to this "sin" or guilty pleasure to God. To realize that we are being selfish when we let things that are worldly consume our minds and hearts. I confess that it has already been difficult for me. I know that it will only get harder, and that I might not succeed in this quest, but I am forgiven, and I know that I can get back up and look to Him. I am VERY excited about this. There are people in my life that are doubting my success with this, and that doesn't bother me. This is not a decision for anyone else, it is for Him. I have spent more time in the last 24 hours thinking about God than I have in the last two weeks. How amazing!

My mind, as usual, is racing today. I have another song running through my head. This is strange because I know that I have not heard this song for several days...pretty cool how God puts thoughts into our heads to let us know that He is in control. Today, it is another Casting Crowns song...or phrase from one of their songs.

But as the thunder rolls, I barely hear your whisper through the rain. "I'm, with you." And as your mercy calls, I pray the God that gives, and takes away.

I am not sure that those are the exact words of the song, but it is what I hear. Today, I hear the whisper.

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