Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Clean Room, Clear Mind

The only person who will truly understand how cluttered my room can get is my brother...he will get a kick out of this.

I have been trying, as hard as I can to do my new Bible study...today, I finally made it through Day 1. I get up every morning, fix my coffee, and start my reading. I make it about two sentences in before my mind takes off. Once this happens...forget it...no more reading. Well, my room has been PILED full of clothes...to the point that I fell over them getting up yesterday....pretty sad, I know. Therapist has been telling me that I need to sort the clutter...in my mind...in order to be able to think more clearly. Well, I have been trying to do that...very hard to do. I cleaned my room last night...totally clean...and was able to focus this morning. Coincidence, I think not. See, I live in a black and white world...all or nothing. If my room is cluttered, it is VERY cluttered. The same is true in my head. What I have learned is that I need to keep the world around me free from clutter to help keep the anxiety monster at bay. This being said...the pile of papers on my desk will be addressed today, the filing and mail sorting will be done tonight, and tomorrow...I will be able to complete another day of Bible study.

With regards to how this all affects the anxiety monster and my work? I went to work yesterday...I thought I was prepared to deal with the day....ended up ARGUING, almost to the point of yelling, with my manager...BAD IDEA. I apologized, and I am very thankful that she is a forgiving woman of God who has had her own struggles with anxiety. She understands that sometimes, I am not just myself.

On another note...I have a quote to share...Bubba, this is for you!
"Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'."

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